Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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