id be glad to
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so let's talk penis.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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