all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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