cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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