just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
