1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
