as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
dude. I can hear the air.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
