eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize