He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
