Me. At least after what I've been through.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
