Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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