I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
