Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
