yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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