I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
stop calling my apartment porn island.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You need a sexual gate keeper
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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