at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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