no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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