Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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