She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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