I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize