You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
