fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
