Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
