you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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