i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The best revenge is premature balding
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
