Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
