if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
