you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
