Don't you send me to vm
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
