Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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