Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
sex in a hospital.. check
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize