we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
