a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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