Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
