I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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