with your own penis?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
