Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
