found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
