it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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