i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
