you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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