I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
