i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
