I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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