At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
