I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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