she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
