Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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