she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
