anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
