all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He passed out mid-signature
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
