OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
