You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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