Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
