I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
