chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
