Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She is in my trunk
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
