yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
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