his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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