I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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