Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
