i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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