to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
