so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
