What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I had to cum in my sink.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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