She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
