Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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