I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
