Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She bit a glass in half.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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