u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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